Finding happiness in the life I live nowΒ 

This post is all about the different things I do now in my life, and how they all work together. As many of you know, I have felt a little bit better over the past few months, so although I still need help with most things, I am able to do a little more during the day.

I’ve been doing things which make me smile: designing clothes, putting quotes on my wall, spending time with friends, reading books, and I am happy that I have had the opportunity to do all this.

Here’s a dress which I made with my mums help, on my amazing Singer sewing machine, which has a heart print and lace hem, isn’t it cute πŸ™‚ :

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I write in my beautiful gratitude journal, which helps me feel a little less sad. I’ve been reading books on buddhism too and they allow me to take a step back from things I can step back from, which is so important, and know that I do not have to be overwhelmed. 

(This is a page from my gratitude journal, Buddha Doodles Gratitude Journal: look at the beautiful illustrations!):
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It’s ok to not be happy all the time!

Over the past few months, I have come to realise that aiming to be positive all the time and rejecting and resisting negative thoughts doesn’t work. More than that, it’s not good for us because we beat ourselves up when things go differently. I think it’s important to acknowledge that there are times when we haven’t been able to be happy, and it’s ok.

Last week, I was very ill with a virus, and it completely knocked me out. I literally couldn’t leave my bed and felt as ill as I did during my flare last September. I couldn’t stand without the dizziness becoming too much, I couldn’t eat solid food. While I was feeling this ill, negative thoughts resurfaced.

Over the past few months, I had started doing yoga and meditation and had even started eating very healthily, and felt like I was getting better. So when a small virus managed to hurt me this much, I felt very down. A virus had never affected me this much before, and I felt like my search to get better was fruitless. Why was I becoming more ill? At the time, I ended up speaking to someone, and told them I was very sad that I was still ill despite all my lifestyle changes when others had managed to get better. 

Continue reading “It’s ok to not be happy all the time!”